Are You a Weed or a Flower?

In our humanity, we’re all equal.  We are all God’s children, which means we are all precious to Him… buuuuuttttttt that doesn’t mean we are equal in our contribution to society.  What we can and do offer differs.  Our humanity also doesn’t mean that we will fit into all people groups.  In fact, we shouldn’t want to fit into all people groups.  As a therapist, I regularly need to remind myself that I won’t be everyone’s taste.  Why? Because some people have terrible taste like how a lot of people like the taste of beer or wine – nasty.  Give me Gatorade or Koo-Aid (like a man… who will get made fun of by people with bad taste).  For my profession, my favourite verse has become: “Mockers hate to be corrected, so they stay away from the wise.” (Pro 15:12)  This way of thinking is a very healthy way for me to see rejection as I can remind myself some people don’t want help even if they first thought they did.  That being noted, sometimes the rejection is more about who I am – that feels great (like a Three Stooges eye poke).  For instance, I once had someone say they couldn’t work with me because I was too easy to talk to.  That was confusing.  Isn’t that what you want in a therapist? In a situation like this the question becomes was that a true statement and they’ve started looking for someone else to work with who’s more awkward or was that a convenient excuse to simply stop doing therapy (which puts them into the early Bible verse category)?       

This idea that we’re all equal in our humanity, but we aren’t all equal in our contribution to society follows the scale I’ve been focused on lately:

Inferior Minded (-10) —— Humble (0) —— Superior Minded (+10)

We want to aim for the healthy middle where we don’t look down or up at others.  We want to recognize we all have our strengths and weaknesses.  We also need to remember all of our strengths have their weaknesses and all of our weaknesses have their strengths (like we’ve discussed before).  At the same time, some of us work a lot harder at developing our strengths and improving our weaknesses while others simply embrace them (i.e. they get really good at laying around, hyper focusing on something they shouldn’t, doom scrolling, and/or playing video games). 

Another way of looking at this is to consider how we’re like plants with some of us being flowers while others of us are weeds.  Both have their place, but not all places should have both.  According to Google “there is no biological or taxonomic difference between a ‘weed’ and a ‘flower’,” but I would argue a weed is quicker to grow, is less attractive, and tend to insert itself wherever it wants.  This is great if nature needs to reclaim land abandoned by people or fields needing cover, but they’re terrible for an organized garden.  Weeds are also great because they need less water, but they’re invasive and can take over.  Both weeds and flowers have their place, but they’re different just like how people are different.  For this analogy, I would equate weeds with those who are content living in sinful lifestyles while flowers strive for better things.

In recent years, I’ve become addicted to buying plants.  You’ll notice I didn’t write: “addicted to plants.”  I’m addicted to buying them, which is partly because I’m not so good at keeping them alive.  My thumbs are a little more brown than green.  I’ve been dabbling with perennials since buying my house 10 years ago.  I don’t know a lot, but I’ve picked up a few things.  For instance, I had a beautiful hydrangea at the front of my house.  I only had it a few months when a truck dropping off materials crushed it.  The driver’s response? “What’s your problem? It’s just a plant.”  He was a solid weed.  I ended up transplanting it to a spot with the best soil and sun, and three years later, it’s finally going to bloom.  Just like this plant, sometimes people get crushed and it can take awhile to recover.  Other times, they’re simply never the same.  I have another hydrangea that doesn’t seem to do anything, and if this continues, it will eventually be replaced and thrown out because it’s essentially a weed.  It might sound harsh, but even God does this with us.  If we don’t grow and bloom, at some point, He’ll have to remove us from the garden in order to make space for a more productive plant.  Other times, it seems like He’ll abandon the garden entirely like when a church shuts down.

The following is a more specific list of how I see weeds and flowers:  

1. Plants have needs: All plants need enough sun, water, and nutrients to survive, and sometimes that means they need help from outside sources. Like plants, we will all go through dry seasons and some help will be necessary to get back to thriving.  
2. Different plants will do better in different environments: Smart gardeners want to set the flower up for success.  For instance, they will pay attention to whether a flower needs more sun or shade and the type of soil it needs (e.g. azaleas need more acidic soil).
3. Weeds have their place (but it’s not in my garden):  All plants are valuable, but that doesn’t mean we need to have them in our lives.
4. Weeds will always find a way to show up: We will always have to watch for weeds sneaking into our lives, but at the same time, we don’t want to act too quickly because sometimes what we think is a weed is actually a flower.
5. Some weeds disguise themselves as flowers: These plants can look great at the sides of roads and in the forest, but they’re not meant for gardens because they’re almost impossible to control.  
6. Enough weeds can choke out the strongest flowers:  Weeds can do more than look bad.
7. Not all flowers fit into all gardens: Even the most beautiful flower won’t suit every garden.
8. There are special plants:  Sometimes the best thing is to have a special plant as a centerpiece with less attractive plants working in a supporting roll around it in order to allow the special plant to look its best.
9. Simple can be great:  Some gardens look great being simple while others look great being more complex.  They all have their place.
10. Some flowers need more work than others:  When planting a garden, you need to consider how much work you’re willing to do.
11. Some flowers don’t live up to their potential:  Sometimes a flower isn’t what you thought it’d be, and other times it doesn’t grow like it’s supposed to for no apparent reason.  
12. All flowers have a blooming season:  Peonies, which tend to have the most beautiful blooms, last a day or two.  Others will last a couple weeks while others can go a couple months.  People need to remember we can’t always be at our best or “on show”.  We have seasons.
13. Some flowers smell amazing: The right plant can fill a room with a beautiful aroma like lilacs or mock orange bushes, but only for a short span.  Similarly, some people make a room better by being there.
14. Sometimes you need to move a plant because it’s outgrown its space or it needs help:  Gardens are all about change because you can’t guarantee how plants will grow.      
15. Plants that are mature enough (but not too old) are more valuable:  Plants vary in price.  If people had price tags for our worth, we’d also have varying prices.
16. Young plants are harder to know where to plant:  You can’t guarantee how a small plant will grow.  It’s kind of a best guess situation.  Sometimes we don’t want to give it the space it needs to fully develop, so we crowd it in and other times we want to surround it with other plants to give it some protection.  Fortunately, we can always move it later.   
17. All plants need to be pruned once in awhile:  Pruning is like discipline – we need it to be at our best.
18. Some plants get cut down too early or pruned wrong: Similarly, people can get cut down and disciplined wrong, which is very damaging to their potential.
19. All plants eventually die:  We need to enjoy plants and people while we can.
20. All the best gardens require a gardener:  Yes, this is a push for God being valuable.  

What’s interesting about this analogy is it actually helped me feel better about certain events in my past.  The big one is I’ve often wondered why God had me work for two churches where I was let go after four years each because they couldn’t afford me anymore.  Why did He let that happen? The answer was I was a flower He wanted to move to a different garden.  Considering the option, I shouldn’t take this any further since it gets a little insulting because it could be that God wanted me out of that garden because there was something wrong with me or it could be that I outgrew that position.  Maybe it was even simpler than that.  Maybe being a youth pastor was simply a training ground to help me grow before I was called into my current role.  See how it can get a little too specific when I overthink it? What’s important, however, is that I don’t see myself as a failure or somehow too good for where I was – those years were a blessing to help me get to where I am today.  After all, God was the gardener who wanted to move me to a different location.

This concept is also really helpful when we start accepting that we want to have a community.  After all, it’s not a garden with just one plant.  We also want to be careful how we build our community because weeds can destroy the most beautiful gardens.

The final thing to remember is that gardens are constant work.  We don’t simply pick the plants, put them in the ground, and walk away.  Gardens constantly need cleaning up, reevaluating, and pruning, which is just like our own lives and communities.

This week may you consider how you can be a flower with more flowers in your life.

Are You a Weed or a Flower?

In our humanity, we’re all equal.  We are all God’s children, which means we are all precious to Him… buuuuuttttttt that doesn’t mean we are equal in our contribution to society.  What we can and do offer differs.  Our humanity also doesn’t mean that we will fit into all people groups.  In fact, we shouldn’t want to fit into all people groups.  As a therapist, I regularly need to remind myself that I won’t be everyone’s taste.  Why? Because some people have terrible taste like how a lot of people like the taste of beer or wine – nasty.  Give me Gatorade or Koo-Aid (like a man… who will get made fun of by people with bad taste).  For my profession, my favourite verse has become: “Mockers hate to be corrected, so they stay away from the wise.” (Pro 15:12)  This way of thinking is a very healthy way for me to see rejection as I can remind myself some people don’t want help even if they first thought they did.  That being noted, sometimes the rejection is more about who I am – that feels great (like a Three Stooges eye poke).  For instance, I once had someone say they couldn’t work with me because I was too easy to talk to.  That was confusing.  Isn’t that what you want in a therapist? In a situation like this the question becomes was that a true statement and they’ve started looking for someone else to work with who’s more awkward or was that a convenient excuse to simply stop doing therapy (which puts them into the early Bible verse category)?       

This idea that we’re all equal in our humanity, but we aren’t all equal in our contribution to society follows the scale I’ve been focused on lately:

Inferior Minded (-10) —— Humble (0) —— Superior Minded (+10)

We want to aim for the healthy middle where we don’t look down or up at others.  We want to recognize we all have our strengths and weaknesses.  We also need to remember all of our strengths have their weaknesses and all of our weaknesses have their strengths (like we’ve discussed before).  At the same time, some of us work a lot harder at developing our strengths and improving our weaknesses while others simply embrace them (i.e. they get really good at laying around, hyper focusing on something they shouldn’t, doom scrolling, and/or playing video games). 

Another way of looking at this is to consider how we’re like plants with some of us being flowers while others of us are weeds.  Both have their place, but not all places should have both.  According to Google “there is no biological or taxonomic difference between a ‘weed’ and a ‘flower’,” but I would argue a weed is quicker to grow, is less attractive, and tend to insert itself wherever it wants.  This is great if nature needs to reclaim land abandoned by people or fields needing cover, but they’re terrible for an organized garden.  Weeds are also great because they need less water, but they’re invasive and can take over.  Both weeds and flowers have their place, but they’re different just like how people are different.  For this analogy, I would equate weeds with those who are content living in sinful lifestyles while flowers strive for better things.

In recent years, I’ve become addicted to buying plants.  You’ll notice I didn’t write: “addicted to plants.”  I’m addicted to buying them, which is partly because I’m not so good at keeping them alive.  My thumbs are a little more brown than green.  I’ve been dabbling with perennials since buying my house 10 years ago.  I don’t know a lot, but I’ve picked up a few things.  For instance, I had a beautiful hydrangea at the front of my house.  I only had it a few months when a truck dropping off materials crushed it.  The driver’s response? “What’s your problem? It’s just a plant.”  He was a solid weed.  I ended up transplanting it to a spot with the best soil and sun, and three years later, it’s finally going to bloom.  Just like this plant, sometimes people get crushed and it can take awhile to recover.  Other times, they’re simply never the same.  I have another hydrangea that doesn’t seem to do anything, and if this continues, it will eventually be replaced and thrown out because it’s essentially a weed.  It might sound harsh, but even God does this with us.  If we don’t grow and bloom, at some point, He’ll have to remove us from the garden in order to make space for a more productive plant.  Other times, it seems like He’ll abandon the garden entirely like when a church shuts down.

The following is a more specific list of how I see weeds and flowers:  

1. Plants have needs: All plants need enough sun, water, and nutrients to survive, and sometimes that means they need help from outside sources. Like plants, we will all go through dry seasons and some help will be necessary to get back to thriving.  
2. Different plants will do better in different environments: Smart gardeners want to set the flower up for success.  For instance, they will pay attention to whether a flower needs more sun or shade and the type of soil it needs (e.g. azaleas need more acidic soil).
3. Weeds have their place (but it’s not in my garden):  All plants are valuable, but that doesn’t mean we need to have them in our lives.
4. Weeds will always find a way to show up: We will always have to watch for weeds sneaking into our lives, but at the same time, we don’t want to act too quickly because sometimes what we think is a weed is actually a flower.
5. Some weeds disguise themselves as flowers: These plants can look great at the sides of roads and in the forest, but they’re not meant for gardens because they’re almost impossible to control.  
6. Enough weeds can choke out the strongest flowers:  Weeds can do more than look bad.
7. Not all flowers fit into all gardens: Even the most beautiful flower won’t suit every garden.
8. There are special plants:  Sometimes the best thing is to have a special plant as a centerpiece with less attractive plants working in a supporting roll around it in order to allow the special plant to look its best.
9. Simple can be great:  Some gardens look great being simple while others look great being more complex.  They all have their place.
10. Some flowers need more work than others:  When planting a garden, you need to consider how much work you’re willing to do.
11. Some flowers don’t live up to their potential:  Sometimes a flower isn’t what you thought it’d be, and other times it doesn’t grow like it’s supposed to for no apparent reason.  
12. All flowers have a blooming season:  Peonies, which tend to have the most beautiful blooms, last a day or two.  Others will last a couple weeks while others can go a couple months.  People need to remember we can’t always be at our best or “on show”.  We have seasons.
13. Some flowers smell amazing: The right plant can fill a room with a beautiful aroma like lilacs or mock orange bushes, but only for a short span.  Similarly, some people make a room better by being there.
14. Sometimes you need to move a plant because it’s outgrown its space or it needs help:  Gardens are all about change because you can’t guarantee how plants will grow.      
15. Plants that are mature enough (but not too old) are more valuable:  Plants vary in price.  If people had price tags for our worth, we’d also have varying prices.
16. Young plants are harder to know where to plant:  You can’t guarantee how a small plant will grow.  It’s kind of a best guess situation.  Sometimes we don’t want to give it the space it needs to fully develop, so we crowd it in and other times we want to surround it with other plants to give it some protection.  Fortunately, we can always move it later.   
17. All plants need to be pruned once in awhile:  Pruning is like discipline – we need it to be at our best.
18. Some plants get cut down too early or pruned wrong: Similarly, people can get cut down and disciplined wrong, which is very damaging to their potential.
19. All plants eventually die:  We need to enjoy plants and people while we can.
20. All the best gardens require a gardener:  Yes, this is a push for God being valuable.  

What’s interesting about this analogy is it actually helped me feel better about certain events in my past.  The big one is I’ve often wondered why God had me work for two churches where I was let go after four years each because they couldn’t afford me anymore.  Why did He let that happen? The answer was I was a flower He wanted to move to a different garden.  Considering the option, I shouldn’t take this any further since it gets a little insulting because it could be that God wanted me out of that garden because there was something wrong with me or it could be that I outgrew that position.  Maybe it was even simpler than that.  Maybe being a youth pastor was simply a training ground to help me grow before I was called into my current role.  See how it can get a little too specific when I overthink it? What’s important, however, is that I don’t see myself as a failure or somehow too good for where I was – those years were a blessing to help me get to where I am today.  After all, God was the gardener who wanted to move me to a different location.

This concept is also really helpful when we start accepting that we want to have a community.  After all, it’s not a garden with just one plant.  We also want to be careful how we build our community because weeds can destroy the most beautiful gardens.

The final thing to remember is that gardens are constant work.  We don’t simply pick the plants, put them in the ground, and walk away.  Gardens constantly need cleaning up, reevaluating, and pruning, which is just like our own lives and communities.

This week may you consider how you can be a flower with more flowers in your life.

Rev. Chad David, ChadDavid.ca, learning to love dumb people (like me)