In previous lessons (minus the last one for Easter) we’ve been looking at a scale for how we view ourselves compared to others:
Inferior Minded (-10) —— Humble (0) —— Superior Minded (+10)
You might be wondering why I keep discussing this scale, but it opens the door to many possible lessons for growing emotional health. My favourite lesson I’ve found connects to one of my favourite Jesus lessons (yea, Jesus):“And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own?…Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.” (Mat 7:3,5) The version I grew up with used the word “plank” instead of “log”, but the point remains the same – one person has a giant piece of wood in their eye trying to help someone with a speck. It’d be like someone with a broken leg trying to help carry someone with a bruise on their leg. I used to only see this as a comical way of showing people that our sin is bigger than we realize, and we shouldn’t be distracted by what other people are doing. Instead of judging others, we should be working on ourselves. This follows the adage: “When you point a finger at someone else, three more are pointing back at you.” My original interpretation of this passage is acceptable and serves its purpose, but now I wonder if there is something more to it (because there likely is).
As a side note, isn’t it amazing how blunt Jesus is: “Hypocrite!” That’s not subtle. That’s a straight up term many would find offensive, and he unapologetically throws it out there: “Hypocrite!” Jesus definitely wasn’t worried about offending people: “If this offends you, it’s probably because you’re feeling guilty.” We often forget that Jesus was Jewish, which is a culture of people not known for subtlety. They’re more direct (the way I prefer to communicate). On top of that, Jesus lived in a time where people weren’t as educated, political correctness didn’t matter, and EDI wasn’t a priority. There weren’t any HRs or social justice warriors. There were actual warriors, and they were the heroes of the time. Our current day heroes are good at sports or something artsy. Back then, most heroes were heroes for their ability to kill the enemy. Even if you weren’t a warrior, death was everywhere. If you didn’t kill your food, you would go hungry. Life was very different back then. We shouldn’t see Jesus as this docile/weak/passive/pushover. Jesus was patient, kind, and self controlled, but He you couldn’t take advantage of Him. He was far from being a pushover. He was physically tough. He knew what it was to have cavities without proper modern dentist abilities or freezing. He knew what true rugged life was. Just living back then meant He was tougher than almost everyone today. He was also mentally and emotionally tough. He took on the devil in the dessert… and won. If He scared demons and could command them to leave, do you think He was scared of people? If you were doing something wrong, He would tell you. Depending on who you were, would determine how direct He was, but it would be from a heart of love. That’s what many blunt people miss today: Being direct needs to be done with a heart of love and kindness and not judgement or condemnation. With those struggling, Jesus was particularly gentle and kind in order for them to better hear His message. With the prideful/vain/arrogant, He would be more direct and sharper trying to cut through their wall of superiority. He spoke to them the way they spoke to others (i.e. He treated them closer to the way they treated others). Thus, being Humble, the healthy middle on this scale, isn’t about always taking the hit. It’s about picking your battles and loving people enough to protect them from themselves by trying to meet them where they’re at.
With that being claimed, let’s get a little blunt (with a hint of caution because I’m not as fearless as Jesus). In Jesus’ teaching about having something in our eye, a “log” or “speck”, what if they actually do mean something? What if they represent something in our heart? If that’s the case, based on this scale we have our answer: Pride is the log while feeling less than others and mean to ourselves is the speck. Maybe I’m wrong (it happens), but it makes sense that the greatest sin is someone who is ignoring their own sin because they think they’re superior to others and why Jesus called them out: “Hypocrite!” If Jesus was harsh with the prideful, then it makes sense He’d see them as having logs. People who show off, consider others beneath them, and lack compassion for those in need have logs. Of course, being slightly on the Superior Minded side isn’t that bad, especially since I already taught that my wife is a +5, which leaves her feeling like she has to take care of everyone. She still has a heart of love. Being above a +5, however, especially getting closer to a +10 means you have no compassion or consideration of others – that’s the danger zone. What’s a +10? That’s full-blown Nazi mentality: “Why can’t I kill this person?” That sounds like a log to me (or a full-on hydro pole).
Who did Jesus regularly have compassion for? The poor, the outsider, the lost. Who did Jesus reprimand? The arrogant, the self righteous, the entitled. When people felt like they should be first, Jesus told them to reconsider that idea: “But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must become your slave. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Mat 20:26-28) Jesus was opposed to the social norms. Being rich didn’t mean you were better than others. Being educated didn’t mean you had more value than anyone else. Being better at following “rules” (especially ones you created to show off) didn’t mean anything, especially if you didn’t have love. All sin might be equal as it separates us from God, but some sin has deeper roots and repercussions than others. Resentment and hate for others darken our heart while simple selfish moments don’t have the same long-term ramifications. That’s why Jesus was less worried about the surface as He was more concerned about our hearts.
If I were to rank the different positions on this scale based on how bad they are, here’s my list:
- The smallest speck: -1 to -5 zone
- The bigger speck: +1 to +5 zone
- The piece of wood: -6 to -10
- The plank of wood: +6 to +10
The reason I have the +1 to +5 ahead of the -6 to -10 is in this deeper Inferior Minded position you reach levels of self loathing that are insulting to God. God loves us and calls us as His creation/children, but in this position, we’re insulting God’s goodness. In this range, we’re essentially telling God He screwed up when He made us. I don’t know about you, but I would say that’s pretty bad. I’m allowed to question Him, but to outright claims His creation is bad… who am I to say that?
One of the reasons this scale originally came back to me (I had discovered it a few years ago) and connected the verse was through an interesting week of work earlier this year. While I was journaling (real men journal), I ended up reflecting about how a number of clients that particular week had a “Poor me,” mentality. In my position I hear some pretty terrible situations, but these people left me thinking: “You feel sorry for yourself for that? How entitled are you?” Of course, I did my best to offer them the sympathetic ear they wanted in order to keep them liking me enough to be willing to continue engaging in conversation about it. If we want a chance to redirect people with some thought-provoking questions (never use statements), we need to start by affirming them enough to help them feel understood and cared for. People change when they feel safe, not judged. While listening to them, my mouth was gentle (or as gentle as I could be), but in my mind I was screaming, “You’re so entitled!” This could sound judgemental of me like a Superior Minded person looking down on them, but it was coming from an outsider hearing the whining of a Superior Minded person. As we previously discussed, Superior Minded people have this “I deserve” mentality. This sense of “I deserve” can also be “I deserve to feel sorry for myself.” As my friend who lost her son said, “We are all allowed to grieve, but at a certain point, we need to put on our big person panties on and get living.”
At first, I couldn’t fully define why these situations bothered me so much, but then this scale and verse came to mind: “These situations bothered me so much because they were on the Superior Minded side as they are upset because they feel they ‘deserve’ something better when they don’t. They were blaming everyone else for their situation and didn’t take any personal responsibility for what was happening.” As someone who grew up trying to prove myself and has a “blames himself” brain, I have little patience for anyone who refuses to do any work to help themselves because they’d rather feel sorry for themselves. Take the log out of your eye.
Why do we need to make sure we don’t have a log in our eye? We’re no use to others if we’re walking around with a giant log in our eye. If anything, we’re liable to accidentally hurt those around us.
This week may we all consider how we reduce the speck (or cut down the log) in our eye.
Rev. Chad David, ChadDavid.ca, learning to love dumb people (like me)
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