Making Big Decisions (& an announcement)

Please Note:  The conclusion of this lesson is moving forward I will be publishing my lessons once every two weeks instead of every week.

I recently made the terrible mistake of praying to God for an answer.  This would seem like a wise thing to do (at least if you’re a Christian), but from my experience, whenever I’ve done that, my answers were very clear but very harsh.  For instance, when I was graduating my first year at Sheriden College for an introductory program, I had been volunteering in a grade seven class and was starting to second guess my choice of being an animator.  I was torn because I had been working toward this since grade seven, but the idea of being a slave to a desk like I discovered would happen was starting to scare me.  My new choice involved connecting with people in a deeper way, which was strange because, until I had started volunteering, I didn’t think I liked that since I was “shy”.  It turns out, it’s easy to think we don’t like something until we’ve had a chance to work on the necessary skills to better appreciate it.  Because of my work ethic and passion, I was in the top percent of my art program, which traditionally would’ve guaranteed me a spot in the animation program.  For some reason, however, something happened that year where a good number of the top students like me didn’t get accepted, which led to a leadership implosion and people being fired.  This freak event meant I received my answer in a very clear way – you’re going to university next year to pursue a career working with people.  As grateful as I was for my clear answer, it was still a very grief filled experience because I was giving up something I had spent so much time and energy pursuing.  Twenty-five years later I can easily claim this was the greatest thing that could’ve happened on my career journey, especially because of how the animation industry has changed since the early 2000s.  My friend who went through the program has been forced into a tumultuous working on contract lifestyle that I wouldn’t have been able to handle.  God essentially saved me.

I’ve had other very clear yet harsh answers, but the point is, in my life, when I pray for a bigger answer, God makes it very clear.  The great thing about being a Christian is God works a little differently with all of us.  Just because this is my experience, doesn’t mean it’ll happen to others.  If it doesn’t, that can give us unique stories to share.  On the other hand, if it does, it gives us something in common.  Both are win-win situations.

I’ve been writing a weekly blog since I published my first book in 2012, but I recently had a new development.  My new book, Men are Like Dogs: Appreciating how men work, is completed and almost ready to be released, which led me to start thinking about my follow up, Women are Like Cats.  I was getting excited at the idea of working on this, but with my weekly lessons (and life of a dad), I will never have time to work on it.  This led me to praying about it, and I received my answer.  It wasn’t as clear or harsh as my other answers, but it was still pretty harsh. 

What’s interesting is earlier in the day I received a wonderful compliment from a friend who read my blog, “Trying a New Fight Style… & Hated It”.   It really made my day: “For some reason, when it’s another couple’s argument, it almost sounds comical and almost entertaining. That might be your storytelling skill. I saw myself a lot in your blog, and it seems like I fall into the stereotype, too.”  Later that night, however, I received another message that was… very different.  I’ll be sharing this message in a future lesson, but the point is someone I thought was a friend very clearly told me I’m a disgusting person.  When I asked what led to this conclusion in order for me to know how to grow, they replied it was just me as a person… but I’ll get more into this in another lesson.  

I was incredibly hurt by this person’s two messages, especially since she didn’t give me an example of what I’ve done wrong in order for me to learn from it.  It was simply: “Here’s an insult… why are you upset? I was being honest.”   

As I’ve taught in the last few lessons, the best thing we can do in bad situations is learn from it.  For some reason my instant feeling was I have permission to only do my blogs once every two weeks.  Whether this was from God or not, I’ll never know, but this was the first time I even had that thought as an option.  We believe what we want to believe, so I know how I’ll see this, but either way, this conclusion means I will now have more time to pursue other goals like writing my new cat book.

Tip:  If God’s will is for us to build community with others while the devil’s is to break people apart, did this person being honest and hurtful follow God’s will or the devil’s? It can be a scary reality when we realize we’re helping the devil, but that’s what this person did.  Forutnately, God can use all things for His good.   

Tip on Top of the Tip: Based on the scale we’ve been looking at these last two weeks, this hurtful person demonstrated what an 8 to 10 looks like on the Superior Minded side.  After I told her how hurt I was, instead of remorse, she messaged my wife and insinuated that I’m an abusive husband (which is strange since we hang out maybe once every 2 to three years).  When my wife responded saying she was also hurt, this person had no remorse and simply justified their honesty, which is the Superior Minded side way. 

This week may you consider what it means to be doing the devil’s will instead of being a humble and caring person.

Rev. Chad David, ChadDavid.ca, learning to love dumb people (like me)