I was recently told something that led me to realizing I had arguably achieved my greatest accomplishment. The best part is it’s something that many others can achieve as well. That means by sharing this situation, I might be able to inspire others to follow something that I was taught to do, which allows me to pass on the blessing even further. What’s interesting is when we achieve something great, it becomes something the devil will then try to distort and use to harm, which we’ll look at after I share what my achievement was. As we learned in a previous lesson, there’s God’s will and the devil’s. God’s will is to build us up and strengthen communities while the devil tries to knock us down and cause division and isolation.
Let’s start by looking at the scale we’ve been using:
Inferior Based (-10) —— Humble (0) —— Superior Based (+10)
By sharing this achievement I’m trying to be Humble and not showing off to earn love (i.e. Inferior Based) or trying to demonstrate why I’m better than others (i.e. Superior Based). It’s Humble because I’m pointing out facts in a non “rub it in your face” kind of way in order to celebrate my success, which is a very healthy thing to do. By doing this, I’m also helping you practice being a friend who is Humble as you celebrate with me and not use it as a way to feel bad about yourself (i.e. Inferior Based) or to judge me for what I’m sharing (i.e. Superior Based).
When I was a boy, I dreamed of doing something big. Some people achieve it like Leo P who performs arguably the greatest sax performance of all time: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BARAHLk-8dk&list=RDBARAHLk-8dk&start_radio=1. With the 1000s of hours he’s put into his art, it’s a treat to be able to watch such brilliance. Of course, it’s easier not to be jealous of someone like this who’s perfected something I never got into. Being competitive can make it hard to celebrate other people’s successes, but if we want to be a healthy person (i.e. Humble) we want to work on our first response being, “That’s amazing!” and not how it makes us look.
Tip: This clip is also a good reminder that having ADHD doesn’t have to be a disability. I haven’t been able to confirm if Leo P has ADHD, but… it’s pretty obvious. It’s either that or he drank a gallon of Red Bull with caffeine pills thrown in.
When I was boy, my desire to do something big was partly from my Inferior Based mindset – I wanted to be worth liking. It was also part of the dream of a grand adventure. Like most Canadian boys, the dream started with being a hockey player, but then I became more realistic. I was going to be a famous comedian (yes, very realistic). Sure, Jim Carrey was huge when I was a teenager, but I had already fallen in love with comedy before his big breakout. He just proved my dream could happen. Even in grade four, I remember being in love with making people laugh. Laughter meant acceptance, and acceptance meant love… or so I thought. I have definitely learned otherwise, especially since I’ve had a couple brides laughing a lot and looking really happy during the entire wedding ceremony I officiated only to end up being told they hated it: “But you laughed… oh, right. What matters is how you want to remember it afterwards.”
As I grew into my late 20s, my dream took a backseat in order to become a grownup with a grownup job and a grownup life. I have to say, it’s not as fun as the dreams I had. The dreams I had made life look exciting with fun new challenges ahead of me. As a grownup, the challenges just seem to be annoying to terrible: “Oh, good. It’s how much to fix the car?” “Oh, good. Everything is getting more expensive because other people like our government keep making terrible choices?” “Oh, good. I sound like the old people I used to judge for not having dreams.”
My dream of doing something special had faded to a dull blur in the back of my mind, but then I learned something recently that made me realize, I had actually achieved something greater than I could have recently hoped. You’ll notice I wrote “recently hoped” because this wouldn’t have been a childhood dream, but as an adult with different understanding, it’s really special to me. What’s crazy is this could be my greatest accomplishment, yet it was me simply obeying what I was told to do and following my parents’ role modeling. I didn’t have to create any grand scheme or original idea. My greatest accomplishment is pretty simple and something others can do, but that doesn’t take away from the specialness of it for me.
A couple years ago, a friend of mine was involved in the finances of the church I attend, and she said that only a small group of families donating to the church covered almost 50% of the church’s expenses. In my Inferior Based mind, I was like: “I’m glad there are those families in the church.” Both my wife and I were raised to tithe, which means giving 10% of our income to the church, but I assumed those families were super rich. What we were doing couldn’t be that important… but I was wrong.
A few Sundays ago, the pastor announced that the church we’re building was given the opportunity to buy like-new sound equipment from a large church that had recently shut down that’s worth $500k for only $40k. We currently meet in a school and have been trying to build a sanctuary on an old school for over 15 years, but the city of Hamilton has been putting constant roadblocks up – I know the feeling from my own build. The church, however, needed to have the money in hand before they would be considered to be the official recipient. After the service, I had offered a couple ideas to the pastor for helping since I’m currently tapped out money wise. Here’s where we get into my greatest accomplishment. In that conversation I found out that at my church, by my wife and I simply tithing (aka following what called God called us to do and following what our parents taught us to do), my family is one of 18 that donate 48% of the church’s annual budget. When I heard that, the reality slammed into my brain: I’m making a difference in the world. I love my church, and by my obedience to God, I’m a major factor in it functioning. Every person who is blessed by my church through church services, camps, Alpha, youth groups, and other programs, I’m part of the reason those happens. For most of my making money life, I’ve given faithfully without any real consideration for how my tithes were actually doing something, but they matter – I matter. Paul teaches that we are part of the body of Christ, but this was the first time it really sank in: I’m part of this body in a way that I never thought would be possible.
Even bigger, it sank in how blessed I am to be able to make the money I do in order to give back to God enough that would put me on that list. When I was a youth pastor, my tithes would’ve fallen in the other 52% if the same stats were at the churches I worked at (not likely) because it was such a pittance. Now, my working crazy hours becomes easier to accept. Every extra hour I work leads to more money for God to use. This is so much bigger than me! Can you see why I’m so excited about this? I’m part of a community that is changing lives and blessing the community. Even better, I’m not alone in this. 17 other families are in the same position. Talk about a push to be in the Humble position. My efforts in getting through school, developing and maintaining my practice, directly blesses hundreds of lives and indirectly thousands.
Now here is the key to any great accomplishment. As Han Solo said to Luke Skywalker in Star Wars after Luke shoots down a TIE fighter: “Great kid! Now don’t get cocky.” By tithing, I’m following God’s will, but the devil will want to spin it to fall under his. He’s going to try to let this get into my head. He wants to push me to the Superior Based side by giving me messages like: “You should have more of a say in what happens at the church,” “You should be given special treatment,” or “The staff should be extra nice to you because they need you.” Fortunately, this goes back to the idea of being part of the body. God has given my family this blessing to be able to tithe a healthy amount to the church, but that also means I don’t have time to do things that others are doing. Because I work so much, I’m not able to volunteer or do other important roles. I am simply a part of the overall body. At one point, I was the one making very little money, but had the time and heart to volunteer. One day, I’ll be that person again (if I live long enough to retire), but I need to make sure that I don’t get tricked into being on the Superior Minded side.
To go the other extreme, the devil could try to tell me I need to give more. After all, if only 18 families are covering 48%, shouldn’t I give more to make it 50%. Fortunately, I’m way too cheap for that risk. My wife? She’d be at risk of giving more, but women tend to be more thoughtful than men, so no shocker there.
It’s easy for me to stay closer to the Humble position with my donating because I have a friend who gives 25% of his income to charity. He gives so much, he gets audited every year because the government doesn’t believe that he could be that generous. Plus, in the conservative church I grew up in, we were called to give a “tithe and offering”, which means the base amount is 10% and then you give beyond that. My parents were faithful in this. My brother? Absolutely. Me? Not so much. I had a Christian financial planner say, “For new Christians, you start with a smaller amount like 2%, and then you gradually increase.” I’m in the “I have room to grow still” category to be more like my parents and brother, but I can still be grateful for where I’m at. After all, as someone who is self employed and always praying I’ll have work, it’s a little easier knowing that my income is also tied to the churches. It’s not just about me anymore.
This week may you consider how you can do something special that makes you feel better about what you’re doing.
Rev. Chad David, ChadDavid.ca, learning to love dumb people (like me)
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