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“Would you pleeaaassssse stop complaining!” shouted the snowman whose patience was clearly exhausted. “Every year it’s the same thing. As soon as you’re out of storage, you’re whining about how hard life is for you. It’s killing me.”
“Oh yeah, well being a snow globe is killing me!” retorted the whiney snow globe.
“What you are is killing you?” smirked the snowman.
“Being a snow globe is the worst!” exclaimed the snow globe. “People are constantly mauling me, and I don’t know where those hands have been, but I do know most people don’t wash their hands after going to the bathroom. I’m like cootie central.”
“I wish people would touch me,” retorted the snowman. “I dream of one day being hugged and loved by someone.”
“Yeah, well do you have any idea what it’s like to be constantly shaken up and have everything inside you go into chaos? I want organization, structure – keep it clean, people,” exclaimed the snow globe.
“That’s nothing. Do you know what it’s like being a stuffed snowman? My very existence is a lie. I may be a man, but I’m not made of snow. I’m a plush toy. I’m a fluffy, flimsy plush man. I sound like a reject wannabe super-hero – Plush Man.” complained the snowman. “Even if I wasn’t, I hate snow. It’s cold and wet; it’s very uncomfortable. I hate the very thing I’m supposed to be made of.”
“Well, I’m not made of snow either, but at least you’re white. I don’t even have fake painted snow on me. How am I a ‘snow’ globe?” the snow globe retaliated. “Plus, I’m not a ‘globe.’ I don’t spin or even have an image of the Earth on me. At least one of your titles is true… kind of. At least you’re male… I think.”
“At least you don’t have to hold a stupid sign,” retorted the snowman holding up the sign he had stitched to his hands. “‘There’s snow better day for joy than today.’ My sign even has a spelling mistake in it. How did the editors not catch ‘snow’? It’s ‘no’!”
“Um, it’s says ‘snow’ because it’s a pun,” smirked the snow globe. “Did you not realize that?”
“Seriously? I’m a pun? So I’m not dumb; I’m a dork?” complained the snowman.
“I’d say you’re both… and you just proved you are a man,” the snow globe said smiling to herself.
“Excuse me,” interrupted the angel on top of the Christmas tree. “I couldn’t help but overhear your very loud conversation. Can I ask you a couple questions?”
Both the snowman and snow globe were happy to let the angel speak because, being one of the oldest ornaments, all of the Christmas decorations saw him as wise.
“Out of curiosity, who do you think has it worse?” asked the angel.
“I do,” replied the snowman with confidence.
“Snow, I do,” corrected the snow globe smiling to herself again.
The snowman was about to say something mean to the snow globe for her jab when the angel interrupted by asking, “Okay, let me get this right. You two are competing over who has it worse?” asked the angel. They both agreed. “So you two are essentially fighting over who’s the bigger loser because that’s apparently a title you both want? That seems strange to me because I’d rather be the winner of who has it better.”
“Well, you haven’t suffered the way we have,” defended the snowman.
“Potentially,” conceded the angel, “but while you both think you have it so terrible, is it possible that you both don’t realize how good you actually have it?”
“No,” replied the snowman.
“Snow,” the snow globe said smiling to herself again.
“Can I try to prove that wrong?” enquired the angel.
“By all means,” answered the snowman smiling to himself now because he figured he was about to prove the so-called wise angel wrong.
“Let’s begin with Mr. Snowman,” began the angel. “Take a look over there where the dog sleeps. What do you see?”
“I see a bunch of plush toys,” answered the snowman.
“And what kind of condition are they in?” asked the angel.
The snowman hadn’t really paid attention to them before and now looked at them with interest for the first time. After a quick moment, he replied, “They are pretty ripped up or full-on dismembered.”
“Not a good look, is it?” smiled the angel. The snowman gave a face that showed he agreed. “You may not get hugged, but you’re also not getting drooled on, ripped apart, chewed up, and then thrown out. You get to stay in pristine condition and be admired by everyone who sees you. Every plush toy I’ve seen that wasn’t a special Christmas decoration ended up the dog’s, which is the highway to the garbage. And that sign you hate is a major reason you don’t end up the dogs because our owners think it’s adorable and make sure every visitor sees it because they like you so much. That’s got to be pretty incredible to be so well loved.”
The snowman started smiling and responded, “That’s snow true,” catching on to the “snow” pun. “I guess I am pretty wonderful.”
“You’re still dorky,” whispered the snow globe to herself, “and dumb.”
“I guess I am better than the snow globe,” smiled the snowman, which bothered the snow globe who didn’t appear to want to have it the worst anymore.
“Don’t be too quick to judge,” encouraged the angel. “She has her own story.” The snow globe was starting to look excited to hear what the angel would say about her as she no longer cared about being able to complain. “Ms. Snow Globe, please take a look in that mirror behind you.” The snow globe quickly did as she was told hoping to hear something as encouraging as the snowman. “Now give yourself a little shake.” Hesitantly, the snow globe began to shake and caused all her insides to twirl around. “You said it was chaos when you were shaken. I would say that’s fairly accurate; there is chaos happening in your glass section, but often it’s the chaos that makes life beautiful. You remind people that when things are shaken up, it can be messy, but it can be wonderful. Life is good when it’s calm, but it sparkles when things are shaken up.” A smile started to grow on the snow globe’s face as the angel continued. “You also remind people that no matter how chaotic it gets, it will always return to calm. We need to enjoy both times – the crazy and the calm.”
“Whoa…” said the snow globe stunned by what she just heard. “That’s deep.”
“You really are an angel,” commented the snowman.
“Yes,” smiled the angel in agreement, “I really am.”
“So what you’re saying is that I’m better than the snowman,” stated the snow globe as the snowman gave a disapproving face.
“I wouldn’t go that far,” corrected the angel. “You both have it really good; it’s just different. So often we get competitive over how good or bad we have it, and we miss that there is good and bad in all situations. Sometimes a situation isn’t as good as it could be and we need to do some changes to make the situation better while other times we just need to change our perspective. You both complained so much because you were stuck only seeing the negative and you needed help to see the positive.”
“That’s so true,” stated the snow globe.
“Yeah, I only saw the negative like having to listen to her complain,” shared the snowman as the snow globe gave him an annoyed look.
“Perspective is very important,” stated the angel. “What’s funny is you both complained you had it worse when clearly… I do. Sure there are perks to being an angel at the top of the tree like I get to literally look down on everyone, and that’s kind of fun. But at the same time, anyone who sees me thinks I’m a girl because I’m wearing a toga that looks like a dress, but angels are dudes. Michael, Gabriel – dudes. Angel of death? Questionable.” The angel took a moment to smile at his self-perceived cleverness, and then added, “But the worst thing is the way I’m placed on the tree makes it look like I’m pooping out a decorated tree.”
At first, both the snowman and snow globe wanted to correct the angel for being negative and complaining… but then they paused. They took a good look at the angel as if they were studying him at the top of the tree. Suddenly, they both started laughing hysterically.
“I never thought of that before, but now that’s all I can see,” laughed the snowman. “That’s one crappy tree.”
“Someone open a window; it’s going to smell in here,” joked the snow globe.
“You must be tired,” started the snowman. “You look pooped.”
“Okay, and that’s enough of that,” the angel said with annoyance in his voice.
“I wonder if Pepto-Bismal can help with that,” laughed the snow globe. “Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, pooping out trees… not quite the same ring.”
“Very funny,” groaned the angel.
“Good thing you’re wearing a dress,” laughed the snowman. “You were prepared for the occasion.”
“Maybe he was wearing pants, but the tree ripped through the pants and it made it look like a dress,” added the snow globe.
“I’m so glad you two are getting along,” said the angel sarcastically. “I should’ve let you complain.”
“Hey, why’s the angel holding a candle? He was out of matches,” joked the snow globe.
“It’s going to be a very long Christmas season,” sighed the angel.
Rev. Chad David, ChadDavid.ca, learning to love dumb people (like me)