I was recently listening to some early 2000s Alternative music (aka modern classical music) and Simple Plan’s “Perfect” came on, which is a song to a dad with the main lyrics being: “I’m sorry, I can’t be perfect.” I wonder how the band is now that they’re older and likely have kids of their own. … [Read more...]
Nice-oholic Pt 9: Weak Parents
In the last lesson I looked at how we need to be careful not to enable bad behavior. Some of the worst culprits of this are parents. To begin, I should make a distinction between enabling and spoiling. A friend of mine said that when she lived at home as an adult, her dad would make sure her car … [Read more...]
Nice-oholic Pt 8: Give Responsibility Where It’s Due
People who are overly nice can make me angry. I don’t mean the frustratingly nice ones who end up in situations like when two drivers are at an intersection and the one waves the other on, but then the other waves them on. This causes the original one to wave the other on again, but the other … [Read more...]
Nice-oholic Pt 7: Being Nicer to Yourself By…
What if the thing you hate the most about yourself is actually an important part of who you are? Okay, let’s back up a bit with another question: What are the three things that make you who you are? No, this isn’t some lame Christian thing: (dorky answer) “The Father, Son... and what’s the third … [Read more...]
Nice-oholic Pt 6: Being Nice can be Confusing
Being nice isn’t always clear cut. It can actually be confusing, and if you start thinking about whether something is nice or not, it’s easy to over think the variables (thereby not being nice to yourself). But let’s consider some options to demonstrate what I mean. The other week I was writing a … [Read more...]
Nice-oholic Pt 5: Nice is Worth It
Maybe you’re like me, but I wish I knew what I know now when I was younger, especially back when I was starting as a youth pastor almost 20 years ago. (I just choked hard after realizing how long it’s been.) As a therapist I’m supposed to be a professional at dealing with conflict, but back then I … [Read more...]
Nice-oholic Pt 3: 3 Types of Nice
This past weekend I experienced three different types of nice. The one made me feel great, one fine, and the other left me a little sad. How can nice leave someone feeling sad? Let’s get into it (or you can skip to the end to see them). This past weekend I went to Fan Expo in Toronto. … [Read more...]
Nice-oholic Pt 3: 7 tips to be properly nice
So far we’ve looked at how we can be overly nice and how that causes us by default to be mean to someone else, which is normally ourselves and sometimes someone else like a spouse. We also considered how being overly nice can cause collateral damage to others as the nice-oholic is indirectly mean … [Read more...]
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