I recently ran a community yard sale at my church with over fifty vendors, and because my mind is normally thinking about how to improve relationships, I ended up learning a few things about dating from this experience. I know this isn’t what people normally do: (Person 1) “I’m going garage sale shopping on the weekend.” (Person 2) “Are you looking for something?” (Person 1) “No, I want to learn about dating.” (Person 2) “Huhn, you’re weirder than I thought.” (Person 1) “You have no idea.”
Lesson 1: The Musty Smell
Walking into an indoor garage sale or any second hand store there is a particular smell of musty desperation. It’s quite unmistakeable. I’ve only ever smelt it in places with stuff that has gone unused and unwanted in awhile. Unfortunately, this smell can keep good people away. This is the same thing with dating. When you feel desperate or try too hard to impress people you end up scaring people away so they don’t even have a chance to see what you have to offer. Thus, when you’re looking to meet someone you need to make sure you’re not oozing desperation; it smells. Second, this also teaches us that things that go unused get musty and debilitated. Therefore, even if you can’t find a partner, make sure you’re using your heart to love those around you. Keep your heart healthy by surrounding yourself with good friends and colleagues you can love so it doesn’t become musty and debilitated.
Lesson 2: Be Aware of Your Value and What You Offer
If you want someone to date you make sure you know what you have to offer. If you buy a stereo in a new store the tag will say exactly what it offers. It’s not bragging; it’s honest. At a garage sale, vendors don’t normally have these tags and sometimes don’t even know the features of the product they’re selling, but shoppers want this. It’s the same with dating: you should know why someone would want to date you. Like buying a new stereo, know what you can do and don’t lie. I never lie… oh wait, that’s a lie. I recommend writing a list of 7-10 qualities that would make you worth dating. If you can’t do this then you need to learn to like and understand yourself more before you date someone else… or improve yourself so you have things to write (hint: you don’t have to be the best at something, just good at it). You can also go one step further and write 3-5 reasons why someone wouldn’t want to date you, so if someone rejects you, you can assume it’s one of those features and not the entire product. If you’re a lot better at writing your negatives then you’ll want to start working on seeing yourself more positively… or being a better person.
Lesson 3: Offer Something Different
When there are a lot of vendors at a garage sale, vendors need to make sure they have something different to offer. If everyone is selling a Thigh Master or DVD player, they become harder to sell off, and if they do, the seller will likely have to give a big discount to compete. Therefore, make sure you’re unique in some way. Not everyone will want you, but at least you’ll standout for the right person.
Lesson 4: Why You Should Judge a Book By Its Cover… Sometimes
Packaging makes a difference. Sometimes there can be brand new items at a garage sale, but because it’s missing its brand new packaging we value it differently. A perfectly good item is suddenly discredited because it’s not dressed properly. You can be a great person, but if you’re not taking care of your outer appearance you’re missing out on a lot of possible interest and impressing a higher calibre cliental. Donald Trump once said that a used car can sell for an extra couple hundred dollars if it’s clean. On top of this, as people our outer image often reflects what’s going on inside us. If we’re confident, stressed, superficial, lazy, out of touch, feeling unloved, frustrated, or whatever, people can generally see this in how we present ourselves. Therefore, make sure you’re packaging yourself the best and most honest way possible (don’t buy one $1000 suit to give impression you’re rich if you’re not).
Lesson 5: The Danger of Packaging
Sometimes the biggest scams happen because the packaging gives us a different image of what is going on. I had a friend order what she thought was a Royal Dalton doll for an amazing price. It turned out to be just the empty box; not such a good deal. Similarly with people, we have to be careful there’s more than just a good looking package and there’s actually something inside.
Lesson 6: There are Diamonds in the Rough, but They’re Rare
Sometimes you will find the most amazing deals at a garage sale if you keep your eyes open, but you need to sift through a lot of rabble. Plus, the set up of garage sales and second hand stores tends to give the impression the item has less value. Thus, we need to be careful not to be biased of what we find because of where we find it.
Lesson 7: Sometimes Too Cheap is Ignored As Much As Too Expensive
Everyone has value. You are a person of worth. Often putting too cheap a price on a product makes people question how good it actually is. Therefore, be careful not to sell yourself short.
Lesson 8: Sometimes Even the Best Items Don’t Sell
There were a lot of vendors who claimed they were amazed at what sold. What they thought would sell didn’t and what they figured wouldn’t sell did. Sometimes, even the best deals don’t sell, so don’t be too upset if you remain single for awhile. Being single doesn’t mean you’re not a great deal. It just means the right buyer hasn’t been out yet.
Lesson 9: Sometimes You Won’t Find What You’re Looking For, But You Can Still Have Fun
When you go garage saling you have to be ready to walk away without finding exactly what you want, but what you can expect is to have fun. When you go out to places don’t expect to meet the love of your life, but be open to meeting different people and having a good story to share later with friends.
Lesson 10: Remember Where You’re Looking
At a garage sale you’re not shopping at Guess or Coach. If you want something overpriced and shiny shop somewhere else. Essentially, if you want shallow and pretty don’t go to a garage sale. You aren’t likely going to meet a supermodel at a garage sale. You might see me… but I’m not a supermodel… technically.
Rev Chad David, www.EmotionalSex.ca