Sexual harassment is a terrible thing, especially by people with power. You know what else is terrible? A witch hunt. Mob mentality never leads to good decisions unless you enjoy unnecessary carnage. Male celebrities have found themselves in a terrible spot as demonstrated by Seth Meyers pandering speech at the Golden Globes because the media is thirsting for the next juicy story, which apparently can be from any event from any time in history as long as you’re famous enough. What infuriates me is in Ricki Lake’s biography she talks about being sexually molested when she was four and fourteen; the first is by the household handyman and the second by a small time producer. The worst part of her story is when she told her mom about the producer, her mom told her she was too fat to have someone like him do anything to her. Yeah, that’s as disgusting as you can get. Both of these turds for men (and her mom) had nothing happen to them, and you know who isn’t worried about being attacked in the harassment witch hunt? Not these two scum bags because they’re not famous enough to care about. Meanwhile, celebrities can even be worried about delusional fans making up stories out of spite because the media is looking for blood and not truth. Assuming all accusations are true without trial is never a wise move… unless you’re looking for a juicy story. Ultimately, as far as celebrities like James Franco being guilty or not, the answer goes back to my point in last week’s blog: We believe what we want to believe, and right now people want to believe the worst of male celebrities, which can be very dangerous, especially when any accusation, true or false, can destroy a reputation and life.
What’s really unfortunate is this whole ordeal is forgetting some key factors:
- Women are NOT Weak: I believe that women are by creation the stronger gender. Who chose to eat the fruit in the Garden of Eden story and who followed? Present day, who decides when you’re redecorating or when you need new furniture? Who gets to set the standard for how you can dress and what’s socially acceptable behaviour? Women rule Western culture; after all, happy wife, happy life, right? A saying that proves how we interpret it can affect its meaning because does this mean bow down to you wife or does it explain what makes a man happy: a happy wife?
- Women have used their sexual power over men since the beginning of time as a means to get attention, to get their way, and to get money. Arguably, this sexual power is one of the main appeals to men dressing in drag. Guys don’t dress in drag to be victims, but rather to take on a position of power.
- Every guy has done something stupid to impress a girl (and likely most girls have done something stupid to impress a guy). The difference is the good guys learn from their mistakes while the bad ones make these part of their regular routine like the foolish people (including women) who send out naked pictures over their phones. Talk about stupid: (stupid person) “My gift is something you can use to blackmail me or use as revenge later when you’re angry.” Whatever happened to the concept of don’t throw stones?
- Every high school has a dirt bag or two, but not every guy should be worried about being accused of being a dirt bag like is happening in Hollywood. The dirt bag at my school was the guy making fart noises down the hall when classes were going and who drew penises everywhere he went. He was a dirt bag and is likely still a dirt bag while the majority of guys are decent citizens.
- We groom celebrities to become overly sexualized. In Rob Lowe’s biography he describes as a teen being on the set of The Outsiders and girls lining up to sleep with the six main male actors including himself. A guy liking this? This kind of power going to someone’s head? Wow, crazy thought I write as sarcastically as possible. And again, these girls lining up were using their sexual power to get what they wanted and it’s acceptable because women are allowed to offer sex without it being considered sexual harassment unlike for men.
- We glorify sleeping around in TV and movies. Even worse, actors are celebrated for how many people they’ve slept with like Jack Nicholson and Simon Cowell are said to have had sex with over 2000 women. I’m not sure which person is the grosser option because ew. Meanwhile Gene Simmons is said to have canoodled with over 4000 women. Out of these 8000 women, I’m sure there are a few times a woman did not welcome their advances with legs wide open… I mean arms wide open… or I guess I had it right the first time. When celebrities are able to have so many women ready to sleep with them, how can they develop a healthy respect for boundaries and to know what’s appropriate? You don’t teach a dog to bite and then get angry when it bites you. That’s just dumb.
- Hollywood and professional sports are known for being a cesspool of debauchery. Shows like Ray Donovan make it seem second nature. Why is it even news that someone in Hollywood did something sexually inappropriate? That’s stereotypically a normal Saturday night.
- Does our culture even have an idea of what healthy sex looks like? Christianity makes it very clear: Don’t have sex with someone to whom you’re not married, and respect each other. Buddhism says don’t have sex with someone unless you have healthy respect for him or her. Scientology says… ehn, who cares what they say? Uh oh, does my being jokingly insulting put me at risk 30 years from now for accusations of being closed minded?…
- How can we hold someone accountable for something that happened 30 years ago? Our memories distort things whether exaggerating or limiting what happened. Even video can be forged now. Who do you trust, and how do you know if you’re being fair to either party?
- The line between harassment and flirting is often very blurred because it’s up to the interpretation of the person being pursued. What’s acceptable to one person can be horrible to another. The simple answer is if you don’t like something say so (and it helps to avoid being around drunk people and/or dirtbags). If the person doesn’t immediately stop, you get more forceful and/or leave. If it gets to the point you have to kick a guy in the groin to stop his advances, immediately call the cops because he’s a dirt bag and is at risk of hurting someone else. 30 years later you’ve just put other women at risk and you should also be held accountable. At least that’s what I’ll be teaching my daughter: Protect yourself and protect others. The world has a lot of great people and a few dirt bags. Learn the distinction.
My personal question is if a woman did anything to a guy like these male celebrities did, would anyone care? We need to stop treating women like they’re weaker than men, assuming every guy is a dirt bag, and having trial by media because we are going to cause a lot of emotional damage to innocent people.
This week may you hear a story and see beyond it to consider what is really going on in order to prevent unnecessarily hurting someone. Just because it’s in the news doesn’t mean it’s true; it just means it will appeal to enough people to make money.
Rev Chad David, ChadDavid.ca, learning to love dumb people