Being nice isn’t always clear cut. It can actually be confusing, and if you start thinking about whether something is nice or not, it’s easy to over think the variables (thereby not being nice to yourself). But let’s consider some options to demonstrate what I mean. The other week I was writing a … [Read more...]
Nice-oholic Pt 5: Nice is Worth It
Maybe you’re like me, but I wish I knew what I know now when I was younger, especially back when I was starting as a youth pastor almost 20 years ago. (I just choked hard after realizing how long it’s been.) As a therapist I’m supposed to be a professional at dealing with conflict, but back then I … [Read more...]
Nice-oholic Pt 3: 3 Types of Nice
This past weekend I experienced three different types of nice. The one made me feel great, one fine, and the other left me a little sad. How can nice leave someone feeling sad? Let’s get into it (or you can skip to the end to see them). This past weekend I went to Fan Expo in Toronto. … [Read more...]
Nice-oholic Pt 3: 7 tips to be properly nice
So far we’ve looked at how we can be overly nice and how that causes us by default to be mean to someone else, which is normally ourselves and sometimes someone else like a spouse. We also considered how being overly nice can cause collateral damage to others as the nice-oholic is indirectly mean … [Read more...]
Nice-oholic: The downside of being nice Pt 2
The worst thing about being a nice-oholic is, by default, you end up being mean to someone else and that someone is normally yourself and possibly the people closest to you (aka the people with whom you live). When you’re overly nice, there’s always a penalty to pay. Sometimes there’s meanness … [Read more...]
Nice-o-holic: The downside of thoughtfulness Pt1
Being thoughtful is often a very big part of being nice, but it’s not a prerequisite, which is a good thing for me. Thoughtfulness is not my strength... at least compared to my wife. Here’s a demonstration of a major difference between my wife and I (and between most women and men): Me: I’m … [Read more...]
Getting a Girl, Keeping Her, & Having a Healthy Relationship
Before grade eight I was a husky kid. You could say “big boned...” if you want to lie. My bones were very normal. I was chunks-ahoy, flubby bubby, plump-zilla. I was never “fat.” I would say I had functional chunk because my weight helped me be stronger in sports. I was big enough to be hard … [Read more...]
Guilt vs. Feeling Sorry for Yourself
This week I was confronted with a new question: What’s the difference between guilt and feeling sorry for yourself? I know guilt is more about how we hurt others while feeling sorry for ourselves is about focusing on ourselves, but where’s the line between them? Guilt is something I’ve understood … [Read more...]
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