The other week, my wife gave a wonderful demonstration of how we can reduce conflict. What was extra impressive was it happened after a long day of watching our two girls, so her patience for people would’ve already been worn thin. Here’s what happened: During what’s arguably the best time of day … [Read more...]
Are you Angry or Just Grouchy?
A few months ago my wife and I were trying to get our 2.5 year old and 9 month old out the door (parents know this joy). My wife said something pretty benign to me and I snapped something back at her. I do my best to always be calm in my responses, but this time I heard myself speaking in a way … [Read more...]
Do I Need an Apology?
The other day I oiled the baby stroller’s wheels to stop the squeaking. It felt very manly – I’m using oil – so manly. We normally keep the stroller in the car, but because it was dripping oil, I left it at the side of the house (I may have gone overboard with the oil – so manly). A few hours … [Read more...]
The Four Most Important Apologizing Rules
I’ve recently figured out the four most important rules to apologizing (I’m sorry I didn’t figure them out sooner). It came out of the fact that apologizing is a major complaint for most couples I see as a psychotherapist. The complaints almost always come in twos. The first is the apology … [Read more...]
Ladies, Please Stop Doing This
There is one thing a lot of women do that drives husbands crazy. Of course, this is a mistake some guys can do as well, but from my experience, it’s more likely a female problem because women tend to have this desire to make everyone happy and, if everyone isn’t happy, it must somehow be their … [Read more...]
Handling Conflict 101
Last year I ran into a situation with a joke-post I made. Social media has a way of bringing out the best in people. As someone who hates conflict (like really, really, really hates conflict) I’m glad I can remember there is good in all situations. For instance, it inspired this post as it gave … [Read more...]
Fighting in marriage is healthy
If you’re reading this and thinking: “We must be the healthiest couple in the world because we’re always fighting,” you’ll want to read the whole blog to know what I mean because I didn’t write “constantly fighting”. On the other hand, if you saw this title and you thought: “That’s wrong. My … [Read more...]
Breaking Down an Argument
The other night I had the joys of fighting with my fiancé. No, we didn’t need emotional Band Aids or a cover story for the bruising we caused because we’ve learned how to properly share our conflicting thoughts... but it still stinks; fighting stinks. In every fight there are two sides. This … [Read more...]