The holiday season has a way of bringing a lot of peace, love, and joy... as well as extreme blow up fights. These “experiences” often happen before or after an event where people are smiling and happy; aw, the magic of the season. It’s strange how ups always find a down while the downs don’t … [Read more...]
Both Sides of a Conflict are Dumb
Some people like to pick a side of a fight; based on this title, I clearly like to find a middle ground where both sides can attack me – genius. In TV sitcom writing, the two key questions every writer is supposed to ask are: “Why are they fighting? Why are they both right?” These two questions are … [Read more...]
Christians (like me) Ruin Christianity
I was once told Christians are the main reason more people don’t want to be Christian as well. This makes sense. For instance, when I was in my 20s and had serious workaholism problems, that’s not exactly a great sales pitch for God: “Be a Christian and have depression like me; it’s great!” … [Read more...]
How My Wife Really Impressed Me in a Conflict
The other week, my wife gave a wonderful demonstration of how we can reduce conflict. What was extra impressive was it happened after a long day of watching our two girls, so her patience for people would’ve already been worn thin. Here’s what happened: During what’s arguably the best time of day … [Read more...]
Are you Angry or Just Grouchy?
A few months ago my wife and I were trying to get our 2.5 year old and 9 month old out the door (parents know this joy). My wife said something pretty benign to me and I snapped something back at her. I do my best to always be calm in my responses, but this time I heard myself speaking in a way … [Read more...]
Do I Need an Apology?
The other day I oiled the baby stroller’s wheels to stop the squeaking. It felt very manly – I’m using oil – so manly. We normally keep the stroller in the car, but because it was dripping oil, I left it at the side of the house (I may have gone overboard with the oil – so manly). A few hours … [Read more...]
The Four Most Important Apologizing Rules
I’ve recently figured out the four most important rules to apologizing (I’m sorry I didn’t figure them out sooner). It came out of the fact that apologizing is a major complaint for most couples I see as a psychotherapist. The complaints almost always come in twos. The first is the apology … [Read more...]
Ladies, Please Stop Doing This
There is one thing a lot of women do that drives husbands crazy. Of course, this is a mistake some guys can do as well, but from my experience, it’s more likely a female problem because women tend to have this desire to make everyone happy and, if everyone isn’t happy, it must somehow be their … [Read more...]