Please Note: My next blog will be in two weeks (i.e. early September) because I’m taking a holiday.  The following is an excerpt from the introduction I’ve written for a future book based on the theme I’ve been writing about this past year – being nice in a healthy way. Who is the best … [Read more...]

Tip: This post can be helpful even if you’re not a parent since it can give ideas for what your parents could’ve done differently (or it can help you judge bad parents with more insight).   As a therapist, arguably the most important thing I can teach parents is to relax because no … [Read more...]

A few weeks ago we looked at a scale that considered how the stereotypical married man struggles with sloth while women typically struggle with vanity.  To take this concept a step further, women often end up in a battle between vanity and nurturing.  Whether we’re naturally drawn to … [Read more...]

One of the hardest things about being an overly nice person is you tend to get more hurt than the average person.  This can lead to extra people pleasing behaviors or avoiding people altogether.  It’s interesting; those who become reclusive are typically very nice people who have burnt … [Read more...]

The other week I experienced something that reminded me how overly nice people can spin a story to be more than it is in order to punish themselves or make it bigger than it needs to be.  On a recent Friday evening I did something that was morally questionable, you know, what you’d expect of … [Read more...]

Last week we looked at the following scale as a way to describe why there can be common conflicts between men and women since men typically lean to the sloth side and women typically lean more to the vanity.  Sloth (-10)---------Healthy Middle (0)---------Vanity (+10) The first thing I … [Read more...]

One of the nicest things we can do for our partner is also one of the nicest things we can do for ourselves – it’s one of those rare two for one gifts.  What’s crazy is this very nice thing is also something that will offend certain people (that’s fun).  What is this nice yet offensive … [Read more...]

In the last lesson, we started looking at forgiveness because it is the nicest thing we can do for ourselves.  Unfortunately, it can also feel like the hardest thing we can do for ourselves.  The biggest mistake we can make when it comes to forgiving is thinking it’s for the other person – … [Read more...]