Ever wonder why they call it the “terrible twos?” It’s because the child typically discovers the word no, and they use it over and over, or they scream in your face as you try to put on their shoes and coat, which is a form of saying no. It can be so infuriating: “Stop saying no! Listen to me! … [Read more...]
10 Tips to Reduce Fights this Holiday Season
The holiday season has a way of bringing a lot of peace, love, and joy... as well as extreme blow up fights. These “experiences” often happen before or after an event where people are smiling and happy; aw, the magic of the season. It’s strange how ups always find a down while the downs don’t … [Read more...]
Both Sides of a Conflict are Dumb
Some people like to pick a side of a fight; based on this title, I clearly like to find a middle ground where both sides can attack me – genius. In TV sitcom writing, the two key questions every writer is supposed to ask are: “Why are they fighting? Why are they both right?” These two questions are … [Read more...]
“It Feels Like…” this is a Dumb Thing to Say
The other week I noticed my wife regularly says, “It feels like...” to start a sentence that has nothing to do with a feeling – perfect... for teasing her, which I did... because “it feels like” the right thing to do. I’ll joke with something like “It’s a good thing it feels that way because … [Read more...]
3 Valuable Phrases for a Happy Marriage
Here’s one of the most important phrases we can learn in marriage: That’s a good point. If you’re wondering how to respond to this claim, might I suggest, “That’s a good point”? See how easy it is. You don’t have to like what’s said; you just need to acknowledge it as having good to it, which is … [Read more...]
A Simple Communication Tool
The other day I made a new communication tool! Yes, I’m way more excited than a normal person should be, but being a therapist as long as I have, it’s rare to come up with anything new; it was quite refreshing. This new tool isn’t going to revolutionize anything, but it made the couple I was … [Read more...]
Are You Hearing Things Right?
One problem that often pops its head in couples’ therapy is someone not “hearing” what the other person is saying. The person is “listening,” but they don’t “hear” it right. Does that make sense? (See what I did there?) Sometimes we assume we know what the other person is saying without actually … [Read more...]
The Ultimate Communication Tool
I have met many women who have come in for therapy complaining that their husbands are terrible at communicating. The reality is, however, if your partner is terrible at communicating, there’s a good chance you’re not much better. That’s a fun idea isn’t it? Overall, I find if there’s a problem … [Read more...]